I have a dog. Her name is Bella
EVERY FUCKING TIME I TELL SOMEONE HER NAME IS BELLA THEY GO ”OH THE ONE FROM TWILIGHT”
NO YOU LIL SHIT.
MY DOG IS NAMED AFTER BELLATRIX
SHE IS THE DARK LORD’S RIGHT HAND IN BATTLE, NOT YOUR STUPID LITTLE VAMPIRE CHICK.
Two kinds of people
"swearing isn’t very ladylike stop it"
my mom just yelled “it’s called common sense” at my dog
I mean someone had to tell him
what if flies said “hey” in a Morgan Freeman voice every time they flew by your ear
holy shit I’m the worst tennis fan ever
I didn’t even realize Indian Wells had started already…
my main question is has anyone ever fantasized about having sex with me
(Source: vans-supreme, via tease-her)
you know how in musicals the couple will start singing the same song no matter how far apart they are
what if that happened in real life
what if you were just at a restaurant one day and you started rANDOMLY SINGING because your soulmate decided to sing a duet in the shower
"yes, I would like the bacon and eggs breakfast speciAND AT LAST I SEE THE LIGHT, AND IT’S LIKE THE FOG HAS LIFTED."
Then my soulmate sings some weird shit. I’m exited